My journey and experience of FRC – by Abhishek Sharma, AIR 38, CSE 2024

My journey and experience of FRC – by Abhishek Sharma, AIR 38, CSE 2024

About Me

There’s a photo of me from last year, sitting on the edge of my bed, laptop open, books scattered, and eyes hollow from yet another failed attempt (I’ll not be attaching that here). If I could go back in time and whisper something to that version of me, I would just say this: “Hold on. It’s coming.”

Because today, I stand here with AIR 38 in UPSC CSE 2024.

And no, this isn’t a success story. It’s a story of breaking down, holding on, and coming back to life.

My journey

I began my UPSC journey in December 2020, during the Covid lockdown.

Like many others, I started with standard books, making my own notes along the way.

I appeared for my first Prelims in 2022 but couldn’t clear it.

Still, I didn’t let the failure weigh me down.

Guided by my mentors, I resumed my mains preparation in the 3 months that followed and stayed focused.

I even wrote the mains papers in a time bound manner in my bedroom as soon as they were uploaded on the internet.

In 2023, despite filling the gaps in my notes and working even harder, I faced another setback at the Prelims stage.

I had even moved to Delhi for a while, hoping a change of environment would help—but it didn’t work for me, and I eventually returned home. I repeated my mains preparation again for next 3 months.

Somewhere along the way, I came across Shruti Sharma Ma’am’s talk, where she mentioned about ForumIAS.

Curious, I explored their online content and found it genuinely helpful. I joined their Prelims 2023 test series, which became an important part of my preparation

But I didn’t clear my first two Prelims.

Let that sink in.

The first time, I thought it was bad luck.

The second time, it felt like a verdict on who I really was. I remember staring at the screen, numb.

Not angry.

Not crying. Just……. empty.

I didn’t want to open a book again.

Didn’t want to hear “Next time you’ll do it.” I was done.

And then in a few months came that email. Subject line: Inviting Applications for SFG – Forum Residential Coaching for CSE 2024.

I almost didn’t open it.

But something made me click.

And as I read it, it felt like the words had been written specifically for me.

Ayush Sir’s mail struck a nerve.

It didn’t feel like an institutional callout, it felt like someone out there knew I was breaking, and was offering me a rope.

Still, I hesitated. The fear of another failure was paralyzing.

That’s when a friend, Pranjal, told me something I’ll never forget: “Shayad Bhagwan ne teri kahani likhna shuru kar diya hai.”

Those words changed something in me.

I packed my bag and joined Batch 1 of FRC Gurgaon.

I still remember the date- 2 December 2023 (a day after my 23rd Birthday) when I moved to Gurgaon, course was set to begin on 9th December.

The first week was chaos.

Let’s be honest.

The rooms weren’t fully ready.

The room I was alloted, it contained the luggage of 3 other people for the time being.

The library wasn’t functional.

The food was from brilliant to palatable depending on the mood of the mess guy.

At first we were served right outside the classroom. Slowly things improved and we got a mess of our own.

The schedule was intense, almost cruel. I had a headache every day, sleep was a luxury, and I didn’t know a single person.

But something told me……. stay.

I remember that there were days when things became difficult. But made sure that I showed up.

Everyday. Irrespective of my mood.

The library was beautiful ( though not as spacios as the new campus I visited after the result )

Slowly, that chaos became rhythm.

We were sleep deprived for almost two straight months, barely scraping together four hours on some nights. We’d drag ourselves to classes, write answers with trembling fingers, and pretend the mock scores didn’t hurt.

But in that madness, something beautiful happened.

I found people who became home. A friend circle Ankit, Prerna, Reddy ( although I shoud not call 4 people a circle 🙂 )I don’t know what I would’ve done without them.

We didn’t just study together. We survived together. Laughed on the worst days, cried on the quieter nights, fought over silly things, but always, always showed up for each other.

None of them made it to the final list this time, but I promise you this, they will.

For I’ve seen them. I’ve seen their fight, their heart. If anyone’s next in line, it’s them.

And behind the scenes were two pillars, Kanishk Sir and Sakshi Ma’am.

I found them a bit late in my preparation. They weren’t just mentors. They were mirrors.

They told me when I was off track. They celebrated when I grew. Their feedback was honest, sharp, and somehow still kind. I didn’t need hand-holding. I needed truth, and they gave it every single time.

I remember someone at FRC, maybe in Week 2, told me casually: “Tu list mein hoga.” I laughed it off.

Because at that point, I was still learning how to even believe in myself again.

But slowly, I began to feel it. That flicker of belief. That tiny, stubborn thought: Maybe… this time.

And whenever it faltered, I’d call my sister, Anushka. No matter how late. No matter how tired she was.

Every time I doubted myself, she’d say the same line: “Tera nahi hoga to kiska hoga?” She said it so casually, but with a conviction I wish I had. It carried me. Every single time.

Then came Prelims 2024.

The paper ended. I walked out. And for the first time in three years, I didn’t feel destroyed. I didn’t feel uncertain. I felt… peace. I knew I had made it.

When the prelims result came many people from FRC made it through Prelims. For the first time. Including my own close friends. That ensured that people in FRC studies for the Mains. ( You can watch her post Mains Social media response here )

I and few others had even cleared the IFoS Cut off. It felt unbelievable at that time.

I am the one in the video below ( 20:25 ). Sir had asked not to face reveal that time so the camera is behind my back

( I cleared the IFoS Mains and had an Interview. But that day I came to the Forum Delhi center with my parents to ring the success bell. I remember after the prelims success meet last here, they didn’t allow us to ring the success bell. It was to be done when we finally crack it )

Anyway, the months that followed were still painful.

Mains was no less of a beast. Writing 40 questions a day, facing mock reviews that hurt the ego, watching others get better faster, it wasn’t easy. But I kept going. Bruises on the fingers are now permanent. I still have the collection of my refills that I used in those 3 months for mains. Around 70 80 refills. On an avg 1 per day.

In the hindsight, the excruating schedule of FRC for Prelims had prepared me for the Mains examination

At this point, I cannot express more gartitude for the impeccable mentorship team that Forum had. The 1:1 mentorship and test discussions of the faculty along with classes helped me get that 441 marks in GS.

We also had the entire GSAP module for our batch as apart of FRC for our batch, and I selectively watched the classes given the pausity of time and made fresh notes.

The exam day

In the actual mains I effed up the time management in Optional (Physics) Paper 1 and I had to leave 40 50 marks of answer sheet blank.

I literally cried the entire 2 hour break before paper 2. I thought that this attempt is done for.

I had missed my golden opportunity, I couldn’t revise anything for Paper 2.

But somehow tried to maximize in Paper 2 to give myself the best chance I still had.

Then came the interview. The final test.

You’d think I’d be nervous, but strangely, I wasn’t. I walked into that room carrying not just notes and facts, but three years of scars, stories, and strength. That mattered more.

And then finally, result day.

I didn’t scream. I didn’t cry. I just sat down, stared at the screen, and whispered to myself: “You did it. You actually did it.”

AIR 38.

Not because I was the smartest.

Not because I had the perfect strategy.

But because somewhere along the way, I refused to quit.

Because in the worst moments, my sister believed, my mentors guided, my friends lifted, and something inside me decided to stay a little longer.

There were so many nights I’d sit alone in the FRC corridor, questioning everything.

There were days mocks broke my confidence. There were moments I almost left and never came back. But I stayed.

And that’s what changed everything.

To the ones who didn’t clear this time, please don’t walk away. Not yet. Your story is still unfolding.

“Agar tum jeete nahi ho abhi tak, to shayad kahani abhi khatam nahi hui hai“

The pain you feel right now, it’s shaping you. Making you someone who won’t just succeed, but deserve that success.

And to FRC, thank you. Not for being perfect. But for being real.For being the place where I rebuilt myself.

“I came in broken. I walked out whole.”

If this journey has taught me anything, it’s this: You don’t need to be unbreakable to make it.

You just need to keep going, even when your hands shake, your heart doubts, and everything feels heavy.

And sometimes, when you’re almost ready to give up – That’s when your story truly begins.

Signing off,

Abhishek Sharma, I.A.S